'poo' phobia

Jayden's mummy :- "Today i feel so bad about myself... actually i had been feeling so for the whole week. Sigh! I wonder if i am really pushing ahDen too hard. I tried all i can to teach him how to pass motion everyday and yet he is so afraid of passing motion. He must have really bad 'poo' phobia.

Since last month i had been spending time with him everyday in the toilet, hoping tat my encouragement and patience of squatting together with him in the toilet will eventually make him a habit of having to poop everyday. In the end, my effort still goes to waste.
I don't expect him to use the potty yet, all i want is him not being constipated. Last month the incident of poor ahDen being badly constipated was really a heartache to both hubby & me. He didn't go poo-poo at all for 7 continous days, and when he finally had to poop, he was screaming, crying and straining so hard for nearly 2 hours... and all tat came out was a small round poo as hard as pebble!

As a mother, i felt like i'm a failure. I tried all i can to make him pass motion as frequent as he can. I tried giving him prebiotics, yogurt, vitagen, prune juice, fruits, make sure he drinks enough water.... everything tat i can think of, as long as he doesn't haf to depend on medication to pass motion. At first it started off well, he did poop at least once a day. But i dunno why after 2weeks of such practice, he finally goes back to not wanting to try at all. He'll juz sit at the potty or squatting down at times and not focusing at all.

I told piang & nb about how bad i feel, and they just tell me i can't make him poop if he doesn't want to. I know it sounds crazy but 3days of not poo-ing, he'll start to be constipated again. So what should I do? I am really at the verge of giving up. We had juz had a bad toilet session for 2hours juz now, and not only ahDen feel exhausted, i am feeling very suffocated as well now! Sigh! At times, i'll ask myself why do I haf such a hard-to-train child?

Starting on Sunday noon, I stopped giving him his pacifier when he naps or when he goes to bed. I told him it is as a punishment for him not wanting to poop. Sigh! I dunno if it's a fair action or not, but he'll haf to quit his pacifier one day too. Might as well start training him now... and now he can goes to sleep without sucking on his pacifier for 5 continous nights. I'll still give it to him if he wakes up in the middle of the nite so tat i too can get more sleep. I can juz comfort myself tat tis is some sort of an achievement as well.

The purpose i blog tis down was to remind myself of all the hard time i had to go thru, bringing up my child. I understand tat it's different for every child, and I shouldn't compare him to other children. All I can tell myself is tat i still need to continue trying, with more patience and more love. I juz hope i can do it, and ahDen too can learn how to 'poop' without so much trouble one day!"